


BULLET PROOF

by Monika



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-10
Updated: 2011-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-17 21:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/181225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monika/pseuds/Monika





	BULLET PROOF

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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**BULLET PROOF**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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By  
Monika02/08  


?>

 

 

  
(Challenge:  
Starsky and Hutch are buying a mattress together)  


 

 

  
Scene  
takes place in a bed and mattress shop.  


 

 

Persons:  
Starsky, Hutch, assistant.

 

 

 

 

  
Starsky:  
“Go ahead, I have to keep an eye on my precious lady – she’s just waxed and I don’t wanna have any  
kids touch the hood and play around…“  


 

  
Hutch  
pulls Starsky into the shop.  


 

  
Hutch:  
“No way – we do this together. Remember? Me and thee…”  


 

  
Starsky:  
“You’re kidding, aren’t ya? It’s still your bed and only because we’re sharing….”  


 

  
Assistant:  
“Sirs, how can I help you?”  


 

  
Hutch:  
“We need a new mattress.”  


 

  
Assistant:  
“Nothing easier than that. I can highly recommend our latest model ‘Undisturbed sleep.’”  


 

  
Assistant  
walks over to a King sized bed.  


 

  
Starsky:  
“Hutch, you wouldn’t wish it too undisturbed, would you? When I remember how you…”  


 

 

  
Hutch  
puts his hand over Starsky’s mouth.  


 

  
Hutch:  
“Shut up or I’ll tell everyone what you did.”  


 

  
Assistant  
turns around.  


 

  
Starsky:  
“This guy and his bed manners, tsk tsk tsk.”   


 

  
Assistant:  
”Um, as I said, this mattress… By the way, which size d– d- do you need?”  


 

  
Starsky  
lets himself fall on the bed.  


 

  
Starsky:  
“Hutch, there’s definitely more room than in your bed. Let’s buy this bed with the mattress, huh?”  


 

  
Hutch:  
“Go on dreaming.”  


 

  
Starsky:  
“C’mon, lay down.”   


 

  
Hutch  
circles the bed and sits on the edge of it.  


 

  
Starsky:  
“Feels good, huh? And look, this mattress is much more comfortable than yours. You don’t roll into the middle.  
Look!”  


 

  
Starsky  
pulls Hutch next to him.  


 

  
Starsky:  
“Remember, when after that party you almost broke my nose by thrashing around? See, here we’ll have enough space.”  


 

 

Assistant:  
“Sirs, hum, if this is the right size for you, hum, may I write down the order for the bed and the mattress then?” __

 

  
Hutch  
gets out of the bed.  


 

  
Hutch:  
“Not so fast. First I want to have a word with my partner.”  


 

  
Assistant  
moves a few steps away.  


 

  
Starsky:  
“What d’ya mean, Hutch?”  


 

  
Hutch:  
“How do you dare to suggest to buy a new mattress and a bed?! Who’s gonna pay for this? You’re broke since  
last month. You must be crazy thinking we can afford a new bed too.”  


 

  
Starsky:  
“You’re right, but when I bought the new guitar for your birthday… Ah shit, _everything_ went wrong after that.”  


 

  
Hutch:  
“I appreciate what you gave me, but it was way too much.”  


 

  
“But  
how can someone be so dumb as to shoot the mattress? The bullet is still stuck in it!”  


 

  
Starsky:  
“As I told you before, I was waiting for you, and when it was getting later and later, I took a nap, and then had some  
beers and watched that film… Blame it on the film.”  


 

  
Hutch:  
“Starsk, why did you shoot the mattress? Were you afraid somebody was breaking in, and you fired by accident? Tell me!  
And spare me the lame excuses.”  


 

  
Starsky:  
“Hutch, it’s true. Blame it on Jerry Lewis.”  


 

  
Hutch:  
“Nonsense! What has Jerry Lewis to do with killing my mattress?”  


 

  
Assistant  
moves closer.  


 

  
Starsky:  
“Ya know, I was watching that film, it’s called “Pardners”, and I saw how Jerry twirled his gun around.  
I loved it, and I had to try it too. So I removed the bullets of my gun and stood beside the bed, in perfect direction to  
the TV so I could see how Jerry did it. Look…”  


 

  
Starsky  
gets out of the bed and stands, with spread legs, his left hand moving around very fast. His gun is visible under his jacket.  


 

  
Assistant:  
“Help! The man has a gun!”  


 

  
Assistant  
holds up both hands.  


 

  
Starsky:  
“See, Hutch, I was twirling my gun around, and suddenly I heard a shot, and your mattress was hit. I’m so sorry,  
pal. There must have been one bullet in the barrel.”  


 

  
Hutch:  
“You could have hurt yourself, dummy. Can’t leave you alone.”  


 

  
Assistant:  
“Please, don’t shoot me, I give you all you want.”  


 

  
Hutch:  
“So, do you have bullet proof mattresses?”  


 

  
The  
assistant faints and sinks to the floor.  


 

 

  
The  
end  


 

 

 

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